the reasons why: Alone

Right after graduation is an awkward time for any teen... Deciding what to make of their life, figuring out all the annoying details for college... losing friends they thought they'd have forever... For me, I was losing everyone... couldn't do a thing about it... it sucked... I couldn't afford college, not even dixie... I still cant but that's another story... I watched all my friends go... and it hurt. I only had my angie poo... she ended up saving me from myself, but at the time I was just plain miserable. so I wrote this and it happens to be one of the best lyrical works i've ever written. enjoy!

Alone

having been alone, I've learned to take it well

I hold it in me and let it fester into an overwhelming hell

it draws me in and sucks emotion from veins left unseen

I can't be saved when for so long alone is where I've been

I cry inside and it never shows on the outer mask I wear

I want to yell and tell someone but nobody is ever there

my mind is one that needs to be free and not locked up in a cage

but solitude holds me bound forever to my silent rage

pressure builds in my tired heart and it might be ready to blow

I need someone to listen but I dunno where I can go

it draws me in and sucks me dry from vessels left to shrink

I can't be saved because now that's the way I think

the reasons why: of all my secrets

I always seem to write my best songs when I have an overflow of emotion and not a satisfactory outlet for it. love songs are usually that way, aren't they? you find yourself falling in love with someone, and it isn't possible to start a relationship at that time with them, or at all for some situations. That's kind of what happened to me. I fell in love with someone very close to me and I couldn't be with them. I was with them all the time and I was practically dying to press my lips to theirs, or at the very least tell them how I felt. so one night I couldn't sleep and I took my notebook and a pen and I wrote this song out of frustration mostly... I was frustrated at the fact that I could not just tell them that I was in love with them. I had to love them in secret. It was at the time the deepest secret that I had. So, of all my secrets is a scary love song I guess you could say...

don't let me move, don't let me speak

don't let me breathe, my body's so weak

touch me again, I'm feeling this thrill

hoping and praying that time will sit still

I'm adrift in your eyes, and I'm drowning so slow

always regretting that you'll never know

that you have my heart, do with it what you will

and if you will wear it my wish you'll fulfill

falling so fast, afraid of hitting the ground

do you think that I'll die if my secret is found

I'm sure that you won't, but how could you see

my reasons for feeling this when we'd never be

when I'm with you, I'm in heaven all day

can I bask in your smile please invite me to stay

I'm afraid that this love will leave a big scar

cuz you'll never know I love you from afar

can you take me away, I'll reside in your eyes

please let me just love you though I know it's not wise

should I let you know, would you understand

why I'm holding my heart in the palm of my hand